How to Apologize (February 2018)


How to Apologize (February 2018)


Healing Wounds, Mending Relationships

Apologies have been all over the news recently, reminding us there are both good and bad ways to apologize. Good apologies heal the world. They mend wounds, transcend egos, bolster justice, and foster peace. Bad apologies fester and deepen wounds. Learn how to seek understanding of the wronged person’s perspective and why their perspective—not your sincerity or remorse—is the key to healing a relationship.

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Date: Saturday, February 3
Time: 10:00am-12:30pm
Location: Taborspace || 5441 SE Belmont St, Portland, OR 97215
$85. Space is limited to 30 students.

Apologies have been in the news lately, but have you ever thought about how to make a good apology and why it's so hard to do so? Join us in this one day workshop as we learn how to make a skillful and conciliatory apology. We will review recent high profile "apologies" (Matt Lauer, Kevin Spacey, Louis CK) along with examples from the past (Bill Clinton, Bob Packwood). In deconstructing them, we’ll identify the difference between an apology and non-apology and the barriers (emotional, legal, PR) to a good apology. In the end, an apology is good when one shows they understand the offense and humbly seeks forgiveness. When we subject ourselves to another in hopes of healing and emotional growth for each of us, we’re doing our small part to keep compassion, justice, and grace at the center of our shared humanity. With that in mind, let’s ask ourselves: Who do I need to ask forgiveness from? And to whom do I need to offer it?


Douglas Tsoi, JD, is the founder of Portland Underground Grad School (PUGS), a school for everyday life. Before PUGS, he managed a $4 million education and training program at the Northwest Energy Efficiency Alliance. Previous careers include teaching high school history and ethics, as well as being a intellectual property lawyer. A nationally renowned education expert called Douglas "the best teacher I've ever seen teach."